When I say I don’t care what people think about me, it’s not true. Not really. I pretend it’s true for two people. For me, and for my 8 year old daughter Izobel. I pretend it’s true for me to (try to) create armour. And I pretend it’s true for Izobel to protect Izobel from becoming who people say she should, instead of who she is.
But something happened last night that changed all that. My friend Jess said, in passing, that she didn’t ‘mind’ what people thought of her. And all of a sudden, I realised two things.
First, I realised me not caring what people think of me is not only untrue, but something I’ll never achieve. Because I quite like caring about all sorts of things.
Second, I realised me not ‘minding’ what people think of me, feels completely different to me not ‘caring’ what people think of me. You see, I do care. But somehow, I really don’t mind.
Who knew! And if you don’t think this is useful. Focussing on ‘not minding’ instead of ‘not caring’. That’s OK.
I now don’t mind.