When I started Always Wear Red I spent over a year researching. I’m still researching of course. But in the early months it was pretty intense.

This is not like me. I am more right brain than left. I live in the world of the possible rather than the world of the probable. I don’t like research.

However on this occasion, with a lot at stake, I researched intensely. My sense of adventure was as honed as ever but I wanted a degree of surety. I wanted to learn from those that had gone before me.

Two small quotes from two big names stick in my memory.

One from Paul Smith, that made me feel a bit sick.
One from Tom Ford, that made me feel a bit scared.

Both quotes started with an absolute – ‘no one’.

Paul Smith

Paul Smith is one of the most successful British fashion designers ever. He has a personal net worth of around £350 million. His business remains privately owned.

When I was researching Paul, I had just closed two multi-award winning creative businesses and I was buoyed by new possibilities. I was confident. I thought that if I can do it ‘there’ I can do it ‘here’ too.

Then I came across something that Paul Smith says quite a lot:

No one cares how good you used to be.

That was a bit of a shocker. Paul was talking about how he stays consistent and focused in a world that craves innovation and excellence constantly.

“Hmm,” I thought. “I’d better get ever better”.

Tom Ford

Tom Ford was Creative Director at Gucci and YSL before setting up his own label. Tom is now worth $300 million. I am about to quote him but can’t find where I first read this.

No matter.

Even if I imagined it it’s still useful:

No one ‘needs’ anything that we have ever created.

Explaining why something is better is a waste of time. Why someone ‘needs’ it. This is trying to prove how you fulfil a need better than the next woman or man. In the world of luxury clothing this doesn’t work.

No one gives a shit about ‘better’.

Tom Ford knows that and so do I. I am determined to change how a man feels about himself and the way he sees his world when he chooses to wear the AWR collections. I create confidence for them; in them.

I sometimes spend too much time over-explaining why we are a better product (we are). When I should be talking about the fact that AWR things make you a better you.

That, after all, is our purpose.

Paul and Tom

So, Paul reminded me that it is important to never rest on your laurels. And Tom taught me that your brand has to be valued and really loved, not just known.

Maybe there’s something for you there too?

Paul Smith Video (available at the 50odd.co.uk website):

Here are 4 things I would never dream of doing as a 50 year old man.

I am, after all, a grown up and appreciate fully that all of them are silly.

1. Think of all the things I didn’t do when I was younger and look for someone to blame. And if there is no one around and no one I can call, blame myself. 
2. Take a look at all the people younger than me that do have the opportunity to do all the things that I didn’t do, and tell them how stupid they are for not doing all the things I didn’t do at their age (see 1.). I think younger people like it when older people do this. Especially if they are your own children.
3. Think about all the things that I used to do that I am clearly far too old to do any more, then moan about the fact that I can no longer do them.
4. Worry about all the bad things that could happen to me, even in the knowledge that over 90% of the things that human beings worry about happening, never actually do happen. I would no more likely do this than walk around with an umbrella up on a sunny day in readiness for when it next rains. Both are silly.

So to be clear, the reason I would never do any of these things is because I am an intelligent person and none of them make sense.

I am – as all that know me know – prefect.

If you have a child, if you want one, or if you ever were one – this is a very important film.

If you want to see an ego-free political discussion built on doing what is right as opposed to winning today’s argument just for the sake of it – this is a very important film.

If you want to see a man talk about something he believes in in such a way that it will make every political discussion you’ve seen for the last 20 years, plus every one you see in the future reenforced as the stage-managed, self-serving facade that it is – this is a very important film.

Authenticity

I am a big fan of authenticity and purpose. Believing in something. Standing for and then following through and doing something that matters.

This is an example of how 6 minutes and 50 seconds of authenticity and purpose, expressed lovingly, won $20 million for something that I know that you believe in too.

Children.

Moments

I can’t watch this short film without getting upset. Not because it’s a sad film, because it isn’t. It’s a happy film.

I get upset because this kind of authenticity is so rare. The film was made when I was 1 year old, in 1969. 49 years ago.

There are two key moments but I would encourage you to watch the whole 6 minutes and 50 seconds.

The first amazing moment for me is from 3 minutes and 35 seconds to 4 minutes and 15 seconds.

Remember, this is 49 years ago. Mr. Rogers – in this 40 seconds – is addressing root causes of mental health problems in young people.

He is right. Almost 50 years ago, he understood.

If you watch from 5 minutes and 5 seconds through to the end you will see how Mr. Rogers explores how to talk to children as adults. With a song.

This is pioneering behaviour at it’s very best. Not many people I have ever met have been brave enough too express what they believe in in this way.

So please, at the end of reading this, watch it all.

How To Win

This final point sounds very patronising, but that’s OK.

Many younger people think that passionate rhetoric about a subject requires aggression, calculated persuasion, bravado, posturing, manipulation, play-acting, hyperbole, point scoring and high-fiving.

None of this is true.

And for the left brainers amongst you, this few minutes of heartfelt storytelling resulted in the ring-fencing of $20 million dollars in 1969. Today that’s about $140 million dollars. As the result of a 6 minutes of just talking.

It is worth 6 minutes and 50 seconds of your time for many reasons. So I hope you give it a go.

…

If you are reading this story in your email, please go to 50odd.co.uk to watch the movie. If you have anything to say about this story, or indeed any story that you read at 50odd.co.uk, please comment at the end of any story you read.

I’d appreciate it. Thank  you.

Apparently, just before we die, our life will flash before our eyes.

This may very well be true. A unique phenomenon if indeed it is correct. Both scary and comforting at the same time.

When I Die

So, if it is true, I imagine I will see a movie of my life. Just before I go.

I also imagine that I will only see the good bits. (It’s my death so I’ll choose what I fecking want). I imagine that I will only see what really matters to me.

I’ll certainly leave out the following:

1. Regret.
2. Complaining.
3. Bitterness.
4. Anger.
5. Point scoring.
6. Lying.
7. Greed.
8. Jealousy.
9. etc.

Which begs the question, why are some of us waiting until the moment we are actually going to die before leaving all of this useless, poisonous, pointless waste-of-time-and-space shite, out of our lives?

I’ll leave you with that thought.

Image: Taken by me at Do Lectures 2018, Wales.

Issues around mental health are such a puzzle. Especially with middle aged men.

84 men kill themselves each week in the UK. 12 every day. A 2017 Samaritans report revealed 6,639 suicides in the UK and the Republic of Ireland in 2015. 4,997 (75%) were men. The highest rates of suicide were in the 40 – 44 age band.

Anti Depressants

I was on anti depressants about 8 years ago when I was 42. For a day or two. Then I stopped. I decided to see how I’d do with just counselling because the medication caused me to have an immediate and dramatic dip. After a couple of months, the storm – and the issues (all my fault) that were the catalyst for the storm – passed.

Told You So

During that time however, I’d occasionally drive stupidly. So irresponsible and cowardly was I that I actually entertained the idea that dying in a car crash would be the most balanced and ‘right’ solution for me. ‘Right’ because, if it happened, it was fate playing a part. This allowed me to take no responsibility at all for my own life. Or anyone else’s.

Neat!

So if I’d have died, my shitty view of myself would have been verified in no uncertain terms.

“‘Told you I was worthless. I’m dead.”

Look Closer

I have no idea what to do about the depression and suicide problem. Asking people how they are is too simple. It may be part of the solution but it’s not the full story.

When I was depressed I was highly skilled in radiating OK-ness when, behind my eyes, I was – from time to time – totally indifferent about being here at all. So much so that the gap between me smiling and saying I was OK, and not being here, could have been literally seconds. I could have been whistling as I exited.

This kind of thing seems impossible to fathom. I don’t know what to do about it. Trying to look closer – to see behind a person’s eyes to the truth – I don’t know how you do that.

But if I sense that anyone is troubled, I do intend to try.

…

The image at the top of this story is, I admit, rather dramatic. However it is a good indication of how quickly I and many others would swing from one extreme to another. Seconds.

In the time it takes you to spin it and read it upside down – I’d have changed.