I’ve been around for 50 years.

Sometimes it feels like a lot.

Sometimes it feels like no time at all.

Sometimes I have loved life so much that I didn’t want to sleep.

Sometimes I have feared life so much that I didn’t want to wake up.

Patterns.

In order to make life better, and to learn, I sometimes look for patterns.

Patterns that might help me understand how I can nurture the natural highs and remove the lows.

One pattern I have come to recognise is that the more people I listen to, the more lows I have.

The more I try to analyse and understand who is saying what and why, the worse I feel – no matter what I discover – good or bad.

And the learning from this is simple.

It is to never try to understand people. Don’t try to unpick their thoughts and don’t spend any time trying to influence them.

Marmite.

The best way I can try to explain the futility of this activity – yearning to understand why someone likes a thing or does not like a thing – is with Marmite.

Some people like it.

Some people don’t like it.

If you were Marmite, wanting to be happy and successful Marmite, which of these two strategies would you adopt?

1. Look for the people that like Marmite, build a relationship with them and look after them.
2. Look for the people that don’t like Marmite and try to convince them they are wrong – or of the ‘rightness’ of Marmite.

It has to be 1.

Especially as I am 606 months into my 1,000 months on earth.

And I suggest you adopt the same strategy as we burst into a beautiful, brilliant, brand new year.

2019.

In 2019 I will continue to like Marmite.

And those that don’t, won’t.

If they have any sense they will flock with other Marmite dislikers.

If they have time to waste, they’ll come and bother me.

Telling me how disgusting Marmite is.

Wasting my time.

And theirs.

Happy New Year

So Happy New Year to you, whatever your tastes.

And in the months you have left, if you are not doing it already, please work towards doing what you were born to do.

And believe me, if you too listen only to those on your side of the Marmite fence – you’ll get there a lot more quickly.

And that’s good for all of us.

I wonder if I am hiding?

I am certainly hiding some parts of me.

Creativity.

I am rather creative.

But to be as creative as I could be in this lifetime, I’d have to be braver.

See-saw.

To simplify, it’s like a see-saw.

At one end I have ‘Fear’.

And at the other, ‘Creativity’.

When fear is higher… creativity is lower.

When fear is lower, so creativity rises.

I will benefit from remembering this.

How about you?

This photo will help me in two ways in 2019. 

Firstly, it’s our Izzy Willow staring at me.

I don’t think she is conscious (she’s 2) of what the chalkboard to her left says.

But her ‘The Shining’ like glare does make me a little nervous.

Izzy Willow says I should play more.

Coffee.

And the cup of coffee to the far right of the chalkboard in the image reminds me that Fridays are coffee days.

I work 7 days each week.

Not 7 full days.

But I work every day.

Each Friday is the day that I should pop in 2 or 3 coffees with people that I can help or they can help me.

This coffee day is my day to listen.

To help.

To learn.

To talk.

To be with friends.

Structure. 

More structure required for me.

For work – and play.

Happy 2019 to you.

I watched ‘The Snowman’ over Christmas.

5 times.

Steady. 

I will take this quote from the 40 year old classic with me into 2019:

The snow fell steadily – all through the night.

It will remind me that, sometimes, things simply must take time.

Sometimes, there’s nothing to force.

You just have to be patient for things to work as they should.

I love snow because when it first falls it is a great leveller. Everything is white and clean and bright.

But it takes time to happen. Silently and slowly.

Millions of snowflakes dancing together over hours to create this blanket.

Patience.

So this David Bowie quote will remind me to be patient.

To sometimes just watch and wonder and let things happen.

Great things take time.

There was a female astronaut being interviewed on Radio 5 live this week.

It was a re-run actually.

I can’t remember the astronaut’s name I am afraid, but I do remember some of what she said.

She said that she went into space when her son was 3.

He’s about 8 now.

She also said that she imagines it would be easier to explain to a 3 year old than an 8 year old why mum was buggering off in a space ship for a few weeks.

She’s probably right.

Fly.

The quote that stuck with me though was this one.

It’s what she said was one of the things that helped her decide to complete the mission, leaving her family behind:

What would it look like if he saw me stop a dream?

I like this quote because it is a well constructed, open question.

And because it focuses firmly on her son and what she sees as part other responsibility as a mother.

It should make us all think.

What would it look like to our children?

To stop a dream?

How might it influence our children to make decisions about their dreams?

I mean this respectfully… but flying into space is, in my opinion, no more commendable or impressive than many more rather more mundane decisions that a person might make about the direction of their lives.

There are many ways to change a life… your life.

I don’t like how people do what they feel they should, as opposed to what they were born to do.

1000.

1000 months.

That’s all you have.

So if you sense, even for the tiniest moment that you have the opportunity to fly…

…fly.