Some things really bug me.

Some are rational.

Some are not.


You can decide.

The Photocopier Test.

‘The Photocopier Test’ is not really a test.

But it became really important to me, actually.

So important that I always had to say something.


Over 20-odd years or so.

I’ve employed a couple of hundred people.

Some amazing.

Some good.

Some not so good.

But one thing I used to always note.

And it did become a really good indicator of someone’s personality.

Was what they did whilst photocopying.


So; let’s say that someone in my team wanted 200 copies of something.

They’d wander to the photocopier.

Original in hand.

Lift the lid.

Insert the original.

Punch in 200 copies.

Hit ‘Start’.




Some would just bloody stand there.




Hands in pockets.

As each copy slid slowly from the machine.

Every two seconds.

And on they’d gawp.

Staring at the increasing stack as it materialised.

And it used to really annoy me.


I used to be really annoyed because as soon as I pressed ‘Start’.

I’d think:


I have a couple of minutes here.

I’ll empty a bin.

Want a coffee anyone?

I’ll just put this extra paper away.

Whose is this dirty bloody cup?!

Never mind.

I’ll wash it.



Copies are done.


But some of the team.

They’d just bloody stand there.


The Photocopier Test. 

These things matter.

Well; they do to me.

Especially when, as I employed 20-odd people.

Some would hustle and not stand still.

And some would gawp.

The imbalance was unfair.

And I was having none of it.

The Photocopier Test is real!

And if you failed.

I’d bloody well let you know.


  1. You and my business partner, Clare, could while away many hours talking about the employees we’ve had who make you think -bloody hell, I’m working all the hours there is to find enough dosh to pay the salaries and you’re taking the piss’. I know we shouldn’t think that – but we do.

  2. Phil Jackman Reply

    I always took my phone to catcb up on mail (that is if I ever copied anything).

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