This is a serious subject for me.
It shouldn’t be, of course.
But it is.
The shadow of the threat of failure.
Has been there in any business I’ve started.
And I’ve started 9 businesses.
So I know the feeling.
The shadow of failure is there in my current businesses, too.
It is very real.
But it is no match for the pressure I feel.
When I pop £1 into those claw machines at funfairs.
As my 3 year old daughter stands next to me.
Looking up at me.
Pointing at Toy Story’s Woody.
And asking me to win it for her.
Now that – is pressure.
I have been at Chessington Adventure Park this weekend.
And whilst it delivers on The Gruffalo, Room on the Broom and more.
Those ‘Claw’ machines remain a conundrum.
I know they are a game of chance.
Because the signs on the machines tell me that.
But 3 year olds don’t care about that.
Izobel just wants me to put a ‘penny pound’ into the machine and grab a Forky.
Or a Woody.
Or a Buzz.
Is this a me thing?
Or a dad thing?
Or is this a mum thing, too?
I can’t fathom it.
I just know that the tension is real.
It makes me irrational.
Irrational because if some guy came from behind a bush and said:
Psst. Here. I’ll sell you one. £10 ok?
I wouldn’t want one.
I want to win.
All is well.
Because I won a Ducky this weekend.
A fringe character from Toy Story 4.
Enough for Izobel.
And enough for me.
And the good news is that I won Ducky for a teeny-tiny, measly £1.
On my (about) fiftieth go.