In 2019.
After meeting a lady just once.
And chatting with this lady for just about an hour.
I gave her a nickname.
In my head.
I called her ‘Tanklady’.
Hurt.
I called her Tanklady because she doesn’t let anyone in.
I think that she doesn’t let them in in case they say something that would hurt her.
Or in case they do something that would hurt her.
But what she doesn’t realise is that because of her tank.
She is also shutting out all of the people that could be saying something really nice to her.
Or all of the people that could be doing something really nice for her.
And she is also missing the fact that because she herself.
As a woman.
Is really lovely.
What a shame it is that she is in there.
Alone.
In the dark.
Only popping her head out from time to time.
To chat to the likes of me.
Battles.
It’s understandable I suppose.
Because Tanklady has fought battles.
And some of them.
She has lost.
War.
I hope that as we enter a new year.
Tanklady realises that you only really need a tank in a war.
And that we are not in a war.
Maybe Tanklady will realise that life just feels that way sometime.
Because they get all the breaks.
And we don’t.
(At least that’s how it feels to Tanklady.
Because she compare herself too many times.
To too many of the wrong kinds of people).
2020.
I think Tanklady chooses only to compare herself to people she thinks are better off than herself.
To suit her own script.
And to suit her own view of herself.
When in actual fact.
There are many, many people much less lucky and lovely than she is.
That she could compare herself to.
And that she could help out, as well.
Because whilst Tanklady is focusing on the few people she sees as better than herself.
She isn’t noticing all of the people that are looking up at her.
Or looking up to her.
Wishing they had what she has.
Or that they could do what she does.
Or that they could be where she is.
With her, even.
I guess that’s the way it is when you’re inside a tank.
You miss things.
And life’s too short to miss things.
Tanklady.
Tanklady.
If you see her.
Please.
Be sure to let her know.
