I feel the irresistible urge to pontificate between 1 and 3 times a day.

I think that’s the average, anyway.


The definition I am channelling when I use the word ‘pontificate’ in this context is,

…to express one’s opinions in a dogmatic or pompous way.

And I invariably roll my eyes at the person I am talking to whilst doing it.

I shake my head a bit too.

And I speak in the most patronising tone I can muster.


I am actually quite good at pontification.

I have mastered it over the years.

And thank goodness I only feel the need to indulge a couple of times a day.

Because being a nob all of the time would be a right pain.

Especially for Lisa.


Lisa is very kind to me when I pontificate.

She has this,

You’re a nob.

Look on her face.

(I can see it in her eyes).

Yet Lisa remains very serene.


And kind.

This is a far better skill to master than my pontification skill.

Because Lisa’s mastery of kindness has the effect of making her appear calm.


And wise.

My mastery of pontification?

‘Just makes me look like a nob.

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