I went to a comedy club last week.

The Stand.

In Newcastle.

Here’s what happened.

Here we go. 

As I was queueing to go in.

I checked my ticket.

And the date on the ticket.

Was the date I actually booked it.

Two weeks prior.


I do things like that.

Stupid things.

And when I got to the desk and mentioned my error to the lady there.

She said she’d have to call the manager.

And I thought,

Here we go!

Hassle and shite!

The Manager.

The manager turned up.

Looked at the tickets.



Heh! That happens all the time.

And gently ushered me in.


Now, the tickets I’d booked two weeks ago.

And that I’d turned up two weeks late to redeem.

Included food.

So when I got to the bar to order food and it was noted that I was two weeks late.

I was asked to wait for the manager.

Here we go!

I thought.

Here comes the hassle and shite!

The manager appeared.

Asked me my name.

Said he remembered it from two weeks ago.

And said:

I remember the name Mr. Owen.

I thought it was funny that someone would book tickets and food and then not turn up.

And he took my order.

The Bouncer.

The Stand in Newcastle was packed.

So I stood up by my chair and put my food on my stool.

As I was stood there.

And most other people were seated.

A bouncer stood up.

I could see his head.

And his glare.

Above the crowd.

And began taking big strides towards me.

Here we go!

I thought.

What’s this aggressive sod going to get me to do.

Sit on the bloody floor I bet!

Until I noticed that the bouncer was carrying a chair.

For me.

So I could sit by my food.

The Bouncer (again).

Towards the end of the night.

As one of the last acts was joking away.

I decided to pick up my empty plates and make my way to the bar.

Through a crowd.

And the bouncer sprang up again.

And almost sprinted towards me.

Here we bloody go!

I thought.

I bet he’s going to send me back and make me sit with the mucky plates until the end of the show!

But he took the plates from me.


I’ll pop those on the bar for you.

And nodded for me to go back to my chair.

The Stand. 

The Stand.

In Newcastle.

Great place.


  1. Tony Robinson OBE Reply

    Amazing night – love kind people. Congratulations Michael and The Stand 🙂

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