This is useful.
Here are the headlines.
It is better to describe your emotions.
Than it is for you to be emotional.
Not all the time.
But most of the time.
And especially with negative emotions.
I first heard Sheila Heen talking about this.
Sheila is an American author and public speaker.
And a senior lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School.
My own personal addition to Sheila’s excellent observation is to do with vulnerability.
And it is this.
If I choose to describe my emotions.
Instead of just allowing myself to be emotional.
I somehow feel much more vulnerable.
And that is quite unnerving.
It is unnerving even though.
I know that allowing myself to be vulnerable is a good thing.
Because being vulnerable lets the other person see the real me.
And this encourages the other person to show the real them.
Which is good for everyone.
But I still find it hard.
I think I’ll give it a go.
Describing emotion rather than just being emotional.
Except when I am watching ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ this Christmas.
Because with that film.
I’ve got no chance.