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LOVE & LIFE

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It is possible.

I think.

To care too much.

So much so in fact.

That you can start to actually feel that you care too much.

It starts to hurt.

It starts to take over.

Caring too much.

Gets too much.

Care. 

For me.

In 2020.

I cared too much.

About too many things.

All at the same time.

I got myself worried about this thing.

And that thing.

I wanted to help this person.

And that person.

And very often I just couldn’t.

Either because the layered problems I cared about were just too big for any one person to solve.

Or because I was just too tired.

But whichever it was.

I started to actually feel that I cared too much.

It started to hurt.

It started to take over.

Caring too much.

Got too much.

One of the traps I fell into in 2020.

Was sometimes worrying if I was doing what I was doing.

Better than they were doing what they were doing.

Trap.

It’s a trap.

Because this kind of comparison is not real.

Because whilst I know my business.

I don’t know their business.

I don’t know what financial resources they have available.

I don’t know how big their team is.

I don’t know how much time they are putting into doing it.

I don’t know if they are telling me the whole story.

I don’t know if they are selling any.

I don’t know if they are making any money.

I don’t know if their smile is real.

I don’t know anything about them apart from what they allow me to know.

I don’t really know them at all.

So there is little point in worrying if what I am doing.

Is better than what they are doing.

Because whilst I know all there is to know about my business.

I don’t know all there is to know about theirs.

Just like.

(As well I know).

They really don’t know all there is to know about mine .

Comparing. 

Comparing.

It’s not only not real.

It’s a trap.

Two weeks ago.

I was out with Frankie.

Frankie is a 10 year old Bichon Frisé.

Size of a cat.

Heart of a lion.

Brain of a sheep.

Beach. 

We were on the beach in Whitby in November.

And a slowing, ageing Frankie decided he wanted to play.

With a greyhound.

The Greyhound.

The only problem was.

No one told Frankie that his target playmate was a greyhound.

So all Frankie saw.

Was another dog.

And all Frankie had on his mind.

Was playing.

Not Knowing. 

Not knowing things is really useful sometimes.

Because where there are no rules.

And no prior knowledge.

There are no boundaries.

And where there are no boundaries.

Anything can happen.

100 Metres. 

Frankie first saw the greyhound at about 100 metres.

And when Frankie got within 10 metres of it.

That was when the greyhound slid into a full-pelt sprint so sudden and so effortless that Frankie thought the greyhound had disappeared.

Then.

Eventually.

Frankie refocussed on the greyhound 100 metres away again.

And 0ff he shot.

Then when Frankie got within 10 metres of it once more.

The greyhound slid into a full-pelt sprint and ‘disappeared’ once again.

And so it went on.

Frankie And The Greyhound.

Frankie and the greyhound had a great time.

But only because Frankie didn’t know what a greyhound was.

Frankie knew nothing of the mismatch.

It was only because Frankie didn’t realise that the greyhound could run like the wind.

That Frankie attempted to catch it.

And if he had known.

This wonderful chase would never, ever have happened.

So instead.

On that day.

They both had a brilliant, brilliant time.

Anything.

Not knowing things is really useful sometimes.

Because where there are no rules.

And no prior knowledge.

There are no boundaries.

And where there are no boundaries.

Anything can happen.

It doesn’t always have to hurt for it to be good.

This is me I’m talking to now.

Me.

Because I am still too stupid.

And unconfident.

And self-doubting.

To accept it.

Maybe one day – I will.

Hurt.

If something takes blood.

Sweat.

Tears.

And whatever other bodily fluid that metaphor-manufacturers through the ages have wanted us to excrete.

That’s fine.

But none of these things are a prerequisite for the creation of something good.

None of these things are essential for something of value to appear.

Because sometimes.

Your experience.

Talent.

And ‘you-ness’.

Mean you can produce something good in a heartbeat.

In a second.

In the blink of an eye.

And so it is also important to acknowledge the converse.

That just because you created something in a heartbeat.

In a second.

In the blink of an eye.

That does not mean that it must not be good.

Good.

It doesn’t always have to hurt for it to be good.

This is me I’m talking to now.

Me.

Because I am still too stupid.

And unconfident.

And self-doubting.

To accept it.

Maybe one day – I will.

It came to me as I watched this.

The one thing I must do.

And the one thing you must do.

To make us truly contented and complete.

Feel.

I must admit that I am not there yet.

But I do know which of the brands I own that can help me to achieve it.

I can feel it.

Energy.

And therefore I know where to put my energy.

And by the way.

When I say that this ‘one thing’ came to me.

That’s not strictly true.

I did not invent it.

I heard someone say it.

And that someone was Dennis Potter.

One Thing.

Do this one thing.

Align Your Life’s Work.

With Your Life’s Meaning.

That’s it.

This is worth watching: https://www.50odd.co.uk/one-2/.

 

If someone starts an ‘apology’ with,

I apologise if…

Is not an apology.

It’s just a person saying:

I recognise that there might be circumstances under which that thing I said or did might deserve an apology.

So it’s meaningless.

Alternatively,

I apologise that…

Normally is an apology.

It’s important to recognise the difference.

(Listen to politicians.

They rarely say the latter).

Here’s the funniest thing I ever heard.

From the funniest man I ever heard.

Des O’Connor.

Des O’Connor.

Who died today.

Was mocked endlessly by Eric Morecambe.

Heart Attack.

When Eric had a heart attack in 1968.

Des O’Connor heard the sad news during a live Des O’Connor gig.

Des stopped the gig immediately.

Told the audience the news.

And asked them all to pray for his friend and tormenter.

Eric Morecambe.

Eric Morecambe.

Eric recovered.

And later.

When Eric was told that O’Connor had asked his entire audience to pray for him.

Eric was touched.

But not changed.

Those 6 or 7 people might’ve made all the difference.

Eric commented.

Funny.

The funniest thing I ever heard.

From the funniest man I ever heard.

About.

Apparently.

One of the nicest men we ever heard.

Des O’Connor.

Who died today.

The most impressive thing about this interview.

Which was broadcast on Channel 4 on April 5th 1994.

Having taken place a couple of weeks before.

On March 15th 1994

Is how it has stuck with me.

For 25 years.

Remember.

I was 27 when I saw it.

And I remember still some of the phrases.

Even though I only ever saw it once.

I remember how Dennis Potter confirmed to Melvyn Bragg that he was dying.

I remember the honesty of Dennis Potter in how he explored the idea that he had been a coward.

And I remember thinking that I could never do that.

I remember thinking that I could never say such a thing out loud.

Even though.

At the time.

I did think it.

And I remember wondering.

Way back then.

Whether knowing that I was going to die would change that.

I remember wondering whether a greater awareness of my own mortality would make me brave enough to admit that I was a coward.

How ironic.

The Pen.

Dennis Potter was an amazing man.

I’d wager that there is more beautiful, off-the-cuff storytelling in this 50 minute interview with Dennis Potter than you will hear in a hundred interviews from any other writers.

Listen out for what he says about the pen.

And what childhood actually feels like.

I’ve never forgotten that.

Dennis Potter.

Dennis Potter died on June 7th 1994.

So just 2 months after what you are about to watch.

https://www.50odd.co.uk/the-pen-2/.

Here’s a question.

How do you feel about how you look with your eyes closed?

I think that it’s a more important question than this one:

How do you feel about how you look with your eyes open?

Not least because how you answer the second ‘eyes open’ question is constantly changing.

Because how you look changes.

And your mood changes.

And your influences change.

And who you are comparing yourself to changes.

Too many people.

Too many people fixate on what they and everybody is like with everybody’s eyes open.

And this is wrong.

Think about what’s inside instead.

Them and you.

Think about what people are like with their eyes closed.

Think about the expression on their or your face as part of the picture too if you like, of course.

It’s so much more interesting.

Not convinced?

Then go here: https://takeamoment.uk.

If you’re not going all in.

You are definitely, definitely doing it all fucking wrong.

I have absolutely no doubt.

And I hope you realise it too.

Before it’s too late.

Life Is Short.

Life.

Is.

Short.

That’s the first reason that you are doing it wrong if you are not going all in.

But the second reason you are doing it all wrong if you are not going all in.

Is because the things you are worried about.

Ridicule.

Failure.

Being said ‘no’ to.

That’s kinda where you are now.

Because you’re not going all in.

And it’s about time you realised.

Henry Thomas.

You know Henry Thomas.

You probably don’t think know you know Henry Thomas.

But you do.

And when you see him in this stunningly brave 3 minute performance.

Going all in.

As a 10 year old child.

You will see why I am right about you going all in.

Because if Henry Thomas didn’t go all in on this day.

His life would not be what it turned out to be.

And – strangely – neither would yours.

All In.

If you’re not going all in.

You are definitely, definitely doing it all fucking wrong.

I have absolutely no doubt.

And I hope you realise it too.

Before it’s too late.

Here: https://www.50odd.co.uk/all-in/.