I am spending some of my 50th year wishing I was 30 again.
So this week, I thought I’d address this properly.
Over a cup of coffee.
I am a determined kind of guy so I concentrated.
And I have actually worked out how to do it.
Here’s my plan.
All I have to do to feel 30 again (I can’t ‘be’ 30 again, but this is as close as I can get) is the following:
- Think about all 50 year olds as ‘nearly dead people’ with ‘buy milk’ as the most important thing they have to do today.
- When I go to the pub, go out early and stay out until closing time.
- Drink much more alcohol.
- Go out to the pub much more often.
- Eat in no pattern at all, and giving no consideration to what I am actually eating.
- Sleep on the settee fully clothed a few times a week.
- Don’t change the bed for 3 months.
- Put myself first in most circumstances and don’t think about the world after I’ve gone.
- Go to the cashpoint and get out as much money as possible in one go. Then cheer, smile and pat the shoulder of the stranger behind me as I wandered off, notes in hand.
30 at 50
But it’s rubbish idea.
I suppose it’s called, ‘behaving like I’m 30 when I’m 50’.
That’s different to ‘behaving like I’m 30 when I’m 30’.
Instead, I am going to work out how to be an excellent 50 year old.
Because, in theory at least, the age I do best at 50 – is 50.
I have 5 months left.
So I’d better hurry up.