I am spending some of my 50th year wishing I was 30 again.

So this week, I thought I’d address this properly.

Over a cup of coffee.

I am a determined kind of guy so I concentrated.

And I have actually worked out how to do it.

The Plan. 

Here’s my plan.

All I have to do to feel 30 again (I can’t ‘be’ 30 again, but this is as close as I can get) is the following:

  • Think about all 50 year olds as ‘nearly dead people’ with ‘buy milk’ as the most important thing they have to do today.
  • When I go to the pub, go out early and stay out until closing time.
  • Drink much more alcohol.
  • Go out to the pub much more often.
  • Eat in no pattern at all, and giving no consideration to what I am actually eating.
  • Sleep on the settee fully clothed a few times a week.
  • Don’t change  the bed for 3 months.
  • Put myself first in most circumstances and don’t think about the world after I’ve gone.
  • Go to the cashpoint and get out as much money as possible in one go. Then cheer, smile and pat the shoulder of the stranger behind me as I wandered off, notes in hand.

30 at 50

But it’s rubbish idea.

I suppose it’s called, ‘behaving like I’m 30 when I’m 50’.

That’s different to ‘behaving like I’m 30 when I’m 30’.


Instead, I am going to work out how to be an excellent 50 year old.

Because, in theory at least, the age I do best at 50 –  is 50.

I have 5 months left.

So I’d better hurry up.

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