I am writing a Fuckit List.
It’s like a Bucket List but more immediately gratifying.
A Bucket List – a list of things you think you should do before you die – is good because it may focus you to do more things in this very short, 1,000 month life of ours.
But a Bucket List takes time and planning and the real gratification only comes when you actually do the things you’ve written.
A Fuckit List is quite different.
A Fuckit List is a list of all the things you’re not going to do before you die.
Either because you can’t be arsed or because you’ve realised that the only reason you thought you wanted to do them in the first place was because some other person thought you should.
You never really wanted to do them anyway.
Anyhow, here’s my Fuckit List.
It is work in progress:
FUCKIT LIST. MICHAEL OWEN. VERSION 1.1.
- Bunjee Jump. Stupid.
- Parachute jump. Stupid.
- Swimming with Sharks or Dolphins. It’s too deep. Any big creature could just swim up and get you.
- Tightrope Walking. Stupid.
- Understanding Quadratic Equations. Why?
- Learning to ride a Unicycle. Why?
- Skateboarding. Looks like it can hurt if you fall off.
- Ski-jump. Stupid.
- Speak another language fluently. I concede that this is because of lack of application.
- Eat Sushi. Texture of raw fish is too slimy. And it can make you poorly.
- Eat Steak Tartare. See above.
- Being World Snooker Champion. Too much practicing. I’d get bored.
- Being World Darts Champion. See above.
- Poaching wild animals or indeed any animal. Because that would make me a bastard.
- Vote UKIP. See above.
Work in progress, as I say.